Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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