Got a toothbrush?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
