so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
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