Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
