woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
