no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
