She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
