38 yer olds are good kisserssss
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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