She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
you made out with another girl for some wings
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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