Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
