My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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