He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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