This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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