I wish I could punch you in the face.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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