Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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