I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
