Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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