I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
