We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
