what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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