If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
