I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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