I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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