my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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