Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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