I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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