Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
