You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
