Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
