I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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