Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I feel like abortions should bother me more
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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