i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
