im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
How external is "for external use only"?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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