We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
