so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
How's work?
Spinning.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
