I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
