Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
