I wannas sexs uuuuu
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
