you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
