i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
