so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
