Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
