i'm lost and i look like a hooker
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
