he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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