Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
thus making me awesome and them whores
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
