Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
