I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
