im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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