so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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