The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
