it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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