Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
